


Making it Better

by bookmaniac849



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, F/M, Haruno Sakura-centric, No Uchiha Massacre, Team Seven minus Sakura Bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 11:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12131124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookmaniac849/pseuds/bookmaniac849
Summary: After the War, Sakura is the only one left in Konoha. She wishes nothing more but to end her life, but a Goddess will help her turn back time. Sakura will stop at nothing, to make this one better. Warning: Torture and Implied rape.





	1. Again

**Author's Note:**

> So, this chapter contains mentions of suicide, if you're not comfortable, you have the right to stop reading

Who said that the world could only be pink, gray, black or white? Because he was wrong. All I see is red. Blood and corpses splattered everywhere. The aftermath of a war neither side was able to win. Loneliness is the only thing I can feel. I already cried until my eyes ran dry.

The wind playfully plays with my pink hair, trying to make me smile like I once did. I haven’t smiled in a while.

I look around, and stand up from where I had remained unmoving for the past few hours. Swallowing a soldier pill, I start to recollect my friend’s bodies. When I’m done, I bury them all. All but fifteen. Naruto, Sasuke, Sai, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Hinata, Shino, Kiba, Tenten, Lee, Neji, Yamato, Kakashi and Gaara.

Taking a deep breath, I crystalize the air around them, making beautiful graves with their names engraved. To my right, while the sky cries for me, the water crystalizes and makes a memorial stone; much like the one in Team Seven’s training grounds, with each of the fallen shinobi’s names. KIA. Killed in the Fourth Shinobi War.

A sad smile crosses my face as I turn to look at my friend’s graves, each one with a little symbol just under the name.

**Namikase-Uzumaki Naruto**

**Konoha’s symbol.**

Only one person deserved to be Hokage, Naruto deserved to accomplish his dream.

**Uchiha Sasuke**

**The “Home” kanji.**

After searching for him, begging him to return home, he made us realize, that his friends were his home.

**Sai**

**The kanji for “Emotions”.**

In the end, no-one could take them from him.

**Nara Shikamaru**

**A cloud.**

Because he always wanted to be free like one.

**Yamanaka Ino**

**A flower in full bloom.**

Because she bloomed, and left her behind, even though she never thought she did.

**Akimichi Chouji**

**A butterfly.**

A deadly one, that learned to see his true beauty.*[1]

**Hyuuga Hinata**

**An open cage.**

Caged but free, she learnt to be strong for herself.

**Aburame Shino**

**The “Friend” kanji.**

Because no-one ever thought that he would help them, until he did.

**Inuzuka Kiba**

**Akamaru**

Always loyal to his friends as Akamaru was loyal to him, until the end.

**Ama Tenten**

**A kunai.**

Kunais serve their masters, but can also cut them, Tenten chose to follow her friends, and protect them with her sharpness.

**Rock Lee**

**Youth.**

He always believed in his friend’s youth, and Gai did too, because your youth is the time of your life you’re supposed to live to the fullest, and he made sure of that.

**Hyuuga Neji**

**A bird perched on a branch.**

Being from the branch family, he learned to fly away from them, right to his friends’ awaiting hands.

**Yamato**

**A tree.**

Because he was as strong as one, and learned that his roots were his family.

**Hatake Kakashi**

**The kanji for “Team”.**

He lost them once, and he died hoping that he didn’t have to lose the second one.

**Sabaku no Gaara**

**A heart.**

The universal sign for “Love”. His heart had been broken, but he could fix it in time.

 

Looking away towards the rising sun, its warmth little by little brightening the world, I hear a voice next to me. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Shocked, I notice a woman right beside me, her voice ethereal, as if she was an Angel. She turned and smiled at me, then continued talking. “Sakura, my dear, you’ve had a harsh life, a life that wasn’t supposed to be like that. I go by the name Tenshi, and I am a goddess; I have control over time and space, and everything in between. I’m here to offer you a chance to change your life, so you and your friends live like they were supposed to. I know of your harsh past, of all your suffering, and I am giving you a chance to make it better. Now my child, I can let you change one event in the past, at the sake of risking changing your life as a child.”

Only one event, that was too little. I found my voice and as bravely as I could, asked “Can’t it be more than one event?” She smiled sadly at me, as if she knew that I was going to ask that. “Yes my child, it can be more than one; however, you need to understand something: if that event will make other people happy, it will have to make you experience something sad in order for balance to be present. Do you still want to change something else?” I nodded. “Then, I’ll let you choose your experience, but you need to tell me what do you want to change.” I took a deep breath before answering “I feel that if Naruto’s parents lived after the attack, and if Kakashi-sensei’s teammates lived, life would have been easier, so, in order to make that happen, I think that it would be fair if nightmares plagued my dreams every night, never allowing me to peacefully sleep.” Her eyes widened a bit, before she frowned. “You really want to make them happy, don’t you?” I didn’t have to answer. She sighed, determination shining in her beautiful blue eyes. “Very well, as a little extra help, I’ll allow you to bring two persons with you, but let me tell you, that what you have chosen to experience is too much for two events, so tell, if I am correct in guessing, you would wish for your significant other’s father to live, don’t you?” My jaw dropped to the floor, this was far more than what I was expecting, and I could take someone with me! “Thank you! How can I repay you?” “There is no need for payback my child, just the persons you want to take with you. I assure you, I will explain them all about this.” Without thinking I just told her “Hyuuga Neji and Nara Shikamaru.”

Then, everything faded to black.

I woke up to light, and to two boys hugging the life out of me.

“Sakura! you’re awake. Thank God.” The voice sounded awfully similar to Neji’s, but he was dead.

“Troublesome woman, stop scaring us like that.” And that one was Shikamaru’s, but, he’s also dead.

Am I dreaming? Wait, why did they sound so, childish?

Then and there, everything came back to me, the war, the graves, Tenshi, everything. So, Neji and Shikamaru, and everyone, they’re fine, alive. I pull them both into a hug, and start crying tears of joy.

 

[1] If anyone doesn’t know, butterflies can’t see their wings, so yeah


	2. Teammates

It was the day they were supposed to be divided in teams of three, and she and Shikamaru were running late.

It was not their fault, it really wasn’t. They just had to do some research, mainly because they didn’t know how they were supposed to act around people. They had just landed here, and didn’t know a thing.   
Besides, they marveled at the sight of a Konoha that was _still standing._

It was all thanks to their sacrifice during the war, they got a new opportunity and…

Ok, so maybe it _was_ their fault.

Though it was completely worth it.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

As it turned out, their new pasts weren’t too bad. The three of them were known to be the best of friends, in fact, everyone thought it to be a rare sight when one of them was on their own; this was perfect for their mission, because they would be needing to meet each other very often.

Another common fact for the village was that Sasuke and Naruto were also nearly inseparable, and that both Fugaku Uchiha and Namikase Minato had developed quite the friendship, just as their wives.

What the three time-travelers didn’t think would happen was to learn their new memories by getting pulled into a mini-coma, lasting no more than two hours. No-one witnessed their fall, but the time made the three friends run extremely late to their… “Appointments”.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

When Neji arrived at Training Ground 9, he was tackled into a hug by Lee, who then promptly went into is “Youth Rambling” as he had dubbed it since his…future? Past? ...he would go with future.  
Gai-sensei then proceeded to lightly scold him for the “un-youthfulness of being un-youthfully late”, but soon forgot about it. Tenten was next, hitting him on the back of the head and telling him how worried she was.

To Neji, all of this didn’t matter.

His team was there. Alive. And scolding him for being un-youthful.

It was more than what he ever expected to see again, and it made him happy. Not just happy, but _happy_. He really couldn’t thank Sakura enough, but he figured he’d take her out for dango after her team meeting, though he guessed Shikamaru had the same plan; at this point he didn’t really care, they’d split the bill, like they always had done before War broke out.

And for the second time since coming back, Neji smiled.

…

Needless to say, it freaked his teammates out.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

When Shikamaru opened the classroom’s door, he didn’t quite expect to be tackled to the ground by his blond teammate.

Nor did he expect Sakura to laugh until she was rolling on the floor.

This gave him an idea, and as he slowly stood up, he also was waiting for her to calm down a little bit. When she did, he smirked and opened his mouth.

“Pudding”

Everyone in the room was sure the pinkette had completely lost it.

“So, would you mind telling us why are you two three hours late?” Ino asked, her right hand resting on her hip, her eyes glinting evilly.  
Sakura scratched the back of her head, habit she had picked from her lazy best friend/ surrogate brother.  
“Well, you see, we kind of had a sleep-over, and the alarm clock betrayed us, so we woke up like half an hour ago…hehehehe”  
Sasuke snorted (Sakura had to hold back her amazement, since when an Uchiha said something apart from “hn”? she quickly deduced the world was coming to an end.)

Out of nowhere, a man stepped up, a cigarette present in his mouth, his eyes shining in amusement.  
“Well, now that you’re complete, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, please come with me. I’m Asuma, your jounin sensei.”

Sakura could feel Shikamaru’s heart rate increase at seeing his long-lost sensei, so she squeezed his shoulder, muttering ‘good luck’ so that only he could hear it. The pineapple-haired genin stepped up, nodded to his sensei and quickly told Sakura he would come and find her so that they could get dango and teriyaki. The pinkette smiled at him, nodding, before ushering his to his team.  
Shikamaru saluted mockingly before speeding towards his childhood friends.

The door closed after them.

“Guess we’re stuck in here until sensei comes, may as well try to be a team. So Sakura, me and Naruto know each other pretty well, so why don’t you share something with the class?”

The pinkette sighed, and seated herself in front of her teammates. It was hard, seeing them again, especially after their burial.

“Well…what do you want to know?” Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, but the blond beat him to it  
“Oh oh! I know” he put on a serious face “do you like ramen?” he asked, his eyes glinting at the mention of his favorite food.  
The pinkette, on the other hand, was laughing hysterically on the floor, holding her stomach and trying desperately to regain her composure.

Five minutes passed before she was able to sit again, with an almost-nearly-serious face.

“I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t have put a face _that_ serious while asking such a question. But yeah, I like ramen, though I prefer dango and tea.” She said, a smile threatening her straight face.

Sasuke had opened his mouth for another- much more serious- question, but the door stopped him.  
Or rather, the person behind the door.

The jounin in question had gravity-defying grey hair, and a blue mask pulled all the way to his nose, blocking from view his chin and mouth. The Konoha headband was pulled over his left eye, only leaving his right one open to the world.

Naruto and Sasuke were standing up in an instant, yelling at their sensei for being tardy, apparently knowing him from somewhere. Sakura on the other hand, was frozen in place.  
It was her same old Kakashi-sensei, and she couldn’t be happier.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

“Well, now that everyone’s here, how about you tell me a little more about yourselves? Your likes, dislikes hobbies and dreams for the future.”  
They were at the rooftop, getting to know each other better, and Sakura couldn’t help but feel nostalgic at the scene. She wondered when had it been that she saw her two teammates so carefree and _happy._ It made want to cry, but 1) that would be too suspicious and 2) she didn’t want her teammates to get the wrong impression or 3) Kakashi giving her up to the T &I department, so 4) she did not cry.

“How about you go first Naruto?” Kakashi said aloofly.

“Yosh! My name is Namikase Naruto; I like my mom’s homemade ramen, going out with Sasuke-teme and ramen. I dislike when mom’s mad at me, and the three minutes I have to wait for ramen to be ready. My dream is to become Hokage, a better one than my dad is; hobbies? Pranks I guess.” Well, no surprise there. Sakura noted how Naruto spoke of his parents in present, and was immensely glad to see that Tenshi had stuck with her promise.

Sasuke had started his own introduction

“My name is Uchiha Sasuke; I like training with my brother, mom’s cooking and spending time with the dobe. I dislike not being better than my aniki and the clan elders. My dream is to win against aniki on a fair fight, and my hobbies are training and reading.”

Typical Sasuke, guess she did the right thing by coming back, his clan was safe and sound.

And it was her turn

“Well, my name is Haruno Sakura; I like my friends, dango and hanging out with Shikamaru and Neji. Uh, my dislikes are Wars, nightmares and bullying. My dream is to become the best kunoichi I can be and to stop what bad things I can from happening to my loved ones. Hobbies?  Reading, studying, training and going out for dango with Shikamaru and Neji. I think that’s about it.”

Kakashi was about to say something, but got interrupted by a voice that came from a tree, near his female student.

“Seems we got here early, what a drag.”

From the tree, two figures jumped down, landing near the pinkette.

“Hey guys! We were just finishing, I think. Where are we going to eat?” Sakura said, and Kakashi was reminded of the two names she had repeated during her introduction. For her to hang out with the Hyuuga and the Nara wasn’t new, they were the village’s gossip at least once a month, and were known to visit tea shops and dango stands quite often. Did everything together, like a team.

“Yeah well, before Pinky over there has to go, I’ll just tell you our final test will take place tomorrow at Training Ground 7, five o’clock am, and don’t be late. Also, don’t eat breakfast, or you’ll throw up.”

And _poof_ he was gone.

…

And so was their pink-haired teammate; her companions gone too.

…

“Eh?”


	3. Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of self-harm  
> Also, kinda major-character death

They found their teammate sipping a warm beverage at a tea-shop.

“Sakura-san! We’ve been looking for you, ‘ttebayo!”

The pinkette smiled into her cup of jasmine tea, at her sides, Neji and Shikamaru stared at her teammates amused.

“Why, Namikase-san, I’ve been here the whole time.” She answered with a sideways smile.

The blond sweat-dropped.

*+*

“As troublesome as it is, mom wants you two to come for dinner at the compound. It’s the weekly meeting with the Yamanakas and Akimichis.”

Neji and Sakura nodded at him. The Nara had dropped the bomb when the trio sat in a hill with the intent to cloud-watch; they had wanted to relax after their eventful meeting with the males of Team 7: the two boys had wanted to plan for tomorrow’s test with their lazy sensei. It goes unsaid that both Sasuke and Naruto spent most of their time together fighting over whose plan was the best.

So they laid down and watched the clouds and had a good time.

Suddenly, the pinkette sighed. She felt as if in a genjutsu: everything was so _peaceful_ and _happy_ ; it was almost as if Sakura herself didn’t belong in there. She was scarred for life, war-torn; her eyes held sadness, and a maturity a twelve-year-old shouldn’t have had. She glanced at the two most important people she had, both of them looked so _relaxed_ it was hard to imagine they had actually _died_ , leaving her alone. Tears welled up in her eyes, but Sakura refused to let them fall; she shouldn’t be thinking like that, not when she had an opportunity to make every single thing a whole lot better.

And she planned to start with Orochimaru and Kabuto; those two were the principal source of her problems. If it wasn’t for their sick experiments, Sasuke wouldn’t have gotten the Curse Mark, he wouldn’t have defected, and he wouldn’t have killed Naruto.

_She stood in a clearing, hidden behind some battered trees._

_Sasuke and Naruto were fighting. They were trying to **kill each-other**. And Sakura could only look as Sasuke’s Chidori pierced Naruto’s stomach, while the Rasengan got through Sasuke’s heart. _

_She couldn’t bear it, they had won the war, but at what cost? The village was in ruins, Tsunade was dead, so was everyone else._

_She shouted their names, and hopped from the tree she was in. Her teammates turned to look at her, both were sad, their eyes full of unshed tears._

_Sakura knelt beside their limp forms. They still were alive, so she started pumping healing chakra into their wounds, but both of them tried to stop her._

_“Don’t be annoying Sakura, we’re as good as dead now.” She didn’t dare to look at Sasuke._

_“Do not call me annoying Sasuke, and let me do my work, I refuse to lose you. You’re going to be fine, just don’t talk, please.” She was crying now, but Sakura couldn’t afford to care, instead, she concentrated on healing her fallen teammates._

_Naruto moved his hand so that it was on top of hers._

_“Sakura-chan, please stop. There’s nothing you can do…”_

_The pinkette was so sad she moved right into pissed off._

_“I’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING NARUTO! I’VE NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO **SOMETHING**! It was always me watching your back, it was always you protecting me, always you getting all the praises, all the pats in the back. I’m being selfish, but I tried So. Damn. Hard. So damn hard to be on par with you, I trained with Tsunade, became ANBU captain, but you were always better, and stronger. So forgive me for trying to do something right for once!”_

_They both looked shocked, but I never stopped healing them, I was trembling, but I had to tell them everything; I knew they were dying, but I could at least keep them alive long enough to say goodbye._

_“What do you mean by that Sakura/Sakura-chan?” I could tell they felt guilty, but I really couldn’t bring myself to care anymore, I had to just let it out._

_“After you left Sasuke, Naruto went to train with Jiraiya, he said it was to bring you back, but I wasn’t part of the plan. ‘I’ll bring him back Sakura-chan, believe it!’, those were your words Naruto, but what was I supposed to do? Stay in the village doing nothing while you two became stronger?, because I seriously think that was tour plan._  
Then, I went to look for Kakashi-sensei, thinking that maybe he would train me now that his two favorite students were gone; so I looked for him, at the Memorial Stone, in his house, even with Gai-sensei. Finally, I went to the Hokage. Kakashi returned to ANBU, because he couldn’t bear the guilt of losing his students. I learned that by reading a note he left for me, but he hadn’t failed me until the moment I read it. He didn’t even consider me his student. Sometime after that, my parents died on a mission at the border. I was left alone.  
I fell into a depression- I wouldn’t leave the house, not even to go grocery-shopping. I just wanted to die. I then started to injure myself: I didn’t eat anything, laid in bed for most of the day, bathed with freezing water, cut my wrists, and took sleeping pills.” At this point, they looked horrified at what they had done, but I didn’t stop there.

_“Tsunade got reports from my neighbors about my suicidal behavior, so she assigned me a mission with Neji and Shikamaru; it was a mission to some hot springs in the land of Hot Water, meant to make me relax and also as therapy. They came through my window, and forced me out of bed. My pack was ready, but I really didn’t want to do a thing. In the end, they had to carry me piggy-back all the way into the hot springs in Kusagakure. I spent the whole time doing absolutely nothing. Shikamaru and Neji tried everything they could to at least get me into the hot springs. In the end, we had to return to Konoha. Then, then we were ambushed by some Sound ninja. They took me to one of Orochimaru’s bases for two years._

_After that, you came back Naruto, and the War started. I was never strong enough. Not even when I made it into Anbu, or fought in the frontlines. I’ll never be enough. I’m sorry.” My chakra was depleting fast, this was our goodbye. I was sobbing; no words came from my mouth._

_Sasuke passed first._

_Naruto squeezed her hand, before closing his eyes._

_Both her teammates where smiling._

_She just told them goodbye._

“Sakura, it’s going to rain, we better hurry to the Nara’s.” She looked up, shaken from her thoughts by Neji, who had a hand extended to her.

She took it gratefully, before smiling and taking off towards her brother’s Clan compound.

Neji and Shikamaru looked at each other before they gazed at their pink-haired friend, and took off after her.

They were certain, that everything was going to be better. They’ll make sure of that.


	4. Strenght

“Sakura-chan! Neji-kun! Come in, I’m glad you could arrive on time. Take a seat, I’ll go for some tea and cookies!” Yoshino Nara greeted the three friends upon their arrival to the Clan Head’s house.

Shikaku was waiting for them in the living room, and Sakura could feel Shikamaru stiffen slightly at the sight of his long lost father, so she squeezed his hand reassuringly, and Neji, watching their exchange, put his hand on Shikamaru’s shoulder. The lazy genius relaxed and went to greet his father.

After talking for a while about his and Sakura’s new teammates, Yoshino announced that dinner was ready. Sakura’s eyes glowed when she noticed the plate of teriyaki on the table and promptly went to sit down, which caused amused smiles to form in everyone’s faces.

For the first time in this timeline, Sakura felt part of a family.

**444**

The next morning, the trio found themselves in Training Ground 14, one people normally never used.

Shikamaru and Neji were leaning against a tree drinking water after a three way spar; but their pink haired friend kept throwing punches at a defenseless tree. Neji noticed that their female companion was completely exhausted after their spar, and still kept throwing punches and kicks, injuring both the poor tree and her own limbs.

“Sakura, if you continue beating that troublesome tree, you’ll have less oxygen and die.” Shikamaru said, standing up and going to the pinkette’s side, Neji behind him.  
She just kept throwing punches, and they could see her knuckles bleeding through some  bandages she had put on before they had started their training session.

After a particularly strong punch, Shikamaru and Neji both had had enough, so they took Sakura to the tree they had been sitting on, even though she was fighting to free herself from their arms.  
Then they made her sit down.

“Sakura, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong Neji. I just want to train. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But it is really troublesome when you take it to the extreme. We just had a sparring session Sak, and you have training with your team after this, so do I, so does Neji. You as a medic should know that exhaustion does not help you troublesome woman. So, what’s wrong?”

Sakura knew Shikamaru was right, she was taking it very far, she _knew._ But she still felt the need to…

“To what? To prove that you can be on par with your team? That you’re strong? Is that it Sakura?”

She should’ve known she had voiced her thoughts.

“I-I just. I’m not strong enough-” Shikamaru cut her in the middle of her sentence

“Strong enough to do _what_ exactly? You cannot carry this burden alone Sakura, you have us to help in any way we can, we’ll help protect everyo-”

“But that’s just _it_ Shikamaru! I can’t protect anyone! Not Naruto, not Sasuke, not Ino, not Kakashi, not **you**!” She was crying now, all attempts at going back to training completely forgotten.  
Neji moved himself so that he was hugging her from behind, while Shikamaru laid a hand on her  leg, willing her to continue talking with that silent gesture.  
“I- it’s as if I’ll never be able to do something the right way. I couldn’t protect you in the War, I was the Head Medic **dammit** , and you were supposed to be **fine**.” She sniffled, moving closer to Neji.  
“After your-your _death_ , we won against Madara. But not everything was over. Everything was burnt, the grass was dead, and bodies just **laid** there. Some were-some weren’t even _complete_. I had to look for Naruto and Sasuke. They had to be alive, they just _had_ to. After you left me, I didn’t think I would be able to handle it if I lost them too.” Her crying interrupted her story, but both him and Neji could see were this was going, but they let her continue, she had to _let it out_.

“I found them some time later. Just in time to watch as they _killed each other_. I think I screamed their names. I was low on chakra after the fight, but I had to do _something_. So I started healing their wounds, even though a part of me knew that I _wasn’t strong enough_ to do it, I still had to try.” Sakura laughed, a sad and sarcastic laugh as tears made their way down her face onto the grass.

“Then Naruto had to go and tell me that I _couldn’t do anything to help them_. And a part of me broke, because I knew, _knew_ that I had never been able to do _anything_ but watch as everyone got hurt. _They_ always got hurt because I could not be part of a fight without getting injured. But I had to keep them alive, just enough to say _goodbye_. But, without really wanting to, I told them everything. The depression, the suicidal behavior, the kidnapping, _everything_. And now, even after coming back, I still feel as if I’ll never be strong enough to help protect the people I care for the most. As if they will always be a mile ahead of me, I-”

She couldn’t say anything else, as she suddenly found herself in the warm embrace of her _family._

And she felt safe, letting her sobs fill the air.

Neji and Shikamaru could not say that ‘everything is going to be okay’ or that ‘you’ll be fine, we’re here to help’, because they knew, better than anyone else, the carnation haired kunoichi’s desire to protect the ones she held close to her heart, a heart that had taken more blows than any other ever had. So they just held her close, because they really _understood_ that it wasn’t easy for her, after watching every single person she had loved stare at her with eyes that would never get to see the light again.

Only then, holding her, they realized that it must have been horrible. Being the only one left to bury those who had died protecting their beliefs, their family, their friends and their home.   
And they could see her in their mind’s eye, they could see and hear the tears and cries of sorrow, cursing everyone up in the sky, and down on earth, for giving everyone a premature death, when it should have been her.

They understood her need of feeling strong, of being brave. It was her only goal, to finally be able to protect and stop being protected.

And they both said at the same time, with such conviction that it left no room for arguments, the words Sakura had been waiting for all her life.

_You are strong Sakura, you proved that a long time ago._


	5. Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Implied rape and torture, also: abortion

The three of them had been late to training. Extremely late, even Kakashi had been there before Sakura.  
                But it had been worth it.  
                Every single second they had stayed together had served to strengthen their relationship. Before, they were a family.  
Now, there wasn’t even a word to describe their bond, stronger than any other.

**555**

After Kakashi was done scolding Sakura for being late, Team 7 was to run 20 laps around the training ground, with their sensei lazily throwing kunai at them every once in a while, to keep them motivated was his excuse.

When they managed to finish, the three genin let themselves fall onto the grass, panting heavily. The silver haired ninja stared at his team as the poor kids caught their breath. Sakura stood up and went to the pack she had brought with her, taking out three water bottles and giving one to Naruto and Sasuke, who immediately began gulping down the fresh liquid.

“I’m hurt Sakura-chan, is there no water bottle for sensei?” He put a hand over his heart, sighing dramatically. He heard his pink haired student giggle before throwing her water bottle in his general direction while going to retrieve another water bottle for herself.

Kakashi was really impressed when she also took out four apples and throwing one to each of the three males, saying it’ll replenish their energy before biting on the juicy fruit. He had thought they would be begging him to take them out for lunch after training, but now, he guessed he could focus on practicing their taijutsu.

**555**

It was a bad idea to practice their taijutsu. Of course Kakashi knew they could get hurt, it was hand-to-hand combat after all, but he did not think Sasuke would end up with a broken arm. Thus their training had to come to an end in the hospital.

The medic-nin had assured them that Sasuke was going to be fine, but the uninjured members of Team 7 had opted to stay and wait for their teammate to be healed before going to their respective home. Kakashi was very proud of his students’ teamwork, it was a good thing he had passed them.

When he turned to tell Naruto and Sakura this, he found Naruto trying to take a shivering Sakura out of the hospital. He thought it was weird, because she had been willing to stay in the hospital for her teammate and did not seem nervous. Now, she couldn’t even look at anyone.

Kakashi looked around, trying to find the source of his pink haired student’s sudden uneasiness. Then he heard a woman’s cries of anguish behing the wall Sakura had been leaning against. From what his ears got, the woman had had a miscarriage, and the carnation haired kunoichi had heard it all. He wondered if her mother had had one too.

He couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

**555**

_She could hear the woman’s cries of pain, she could see her desperate to find a position where the torture could go away. She could smell the salty tears and her blood._  
And yet, she couldn’t do anything to help the only other human that had been there for her this past month.  
She just watched as Saya battled with her own body for hours, until she saw something get out of her. It was bloody and unmoving. Yet, it had been a human. Sakura prayed to everything and anything for it to move, to make a sound; but deep down, she knew it was futile.

_Saya moved into a sitting position, and cradled what could’ve been her baby to her chest. Even sang to it. In the end, even she ran out of tears to share for the innocent creature._

_A little after that, a man came into their cell, taking the dead baby from his mother, muttering about how ‘the experiment hadn’t worked’. Sakura pieced everything together. The baby had been an experiment, a genetically modified human._

_The pinkette couldn’t take any more. She got up, and under Saya’s frightened gaze, started punching the walls, the floor, the cell’s metallic door. Breaking skin, she did not stop even after having hurt her knuckles to the point were you could see her white bones._

_She didn’t stop cursing the place she had been put into, cursing the people that worked there, the ones that had done the unspeakable to Saya. She did not stop until her voice gave out, probably having irreparably damaged her vocal cords. And even then, she would still make noises however she could, until her body shut down._

Sakura could still remember Saya’s eyes after that incident. Void of any light. She could still remember her, cradling an imaginary baby to her chest, rocking while singing lullabies.

She had gone mad from the shock.

And they had killed her.

She wasn’t worth experimenting on.

And when she had heard that mother’s cries of anguish after losing her child, all her mind’s eye could see was Saya, rocking an imaginary baby to sleep.  
Sakura had thought she had forgotten about those two years in one of Orochimaru’s bases. Thought she had forgotten the experiments. The pain.

And now, it was all coming back in waves.

She barely registered Naruto’s voice asking her if she was alright.

She wasn’t alright. Far from it.

She was damaged, scarred for life.

Traumatized.

She had been foolish to think that she could start anew, just come back and forget all her past and all her pain.

She couldn’t run away, not from herself.

She couldn’t forget.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard Kakashi’s voice, trying to shake her from her thoughts.

Sakura knew that Neji and Shikamaru had gotten her out of that hell-hole.  
But why did she feel the pain? The frustration of not being able to protect herself. Why could she still feel their hands touching her body? Why could she feel the needles?

Why was she still hearing them?

_You will never be free_

 


	6. What she gave up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of torture and rape

They had been foolish to think that they were coping well, especially her.

He knew she would never be able to escape the memories, not even during her sleep- _especially_ not in her sleep.

But he had thought that it was better than _this._

He finally understood when Kakashi and Naruto had shown up at their usual training spot with his surrogate sister in their arms, shaking like a leaf and pale as the snow they sometimes got to watch during their missions.

When she saw him and Neji, her arms tried to reach them, and they immediately hugged her. She wasn’t crying. But he could see her clenching and unclenching her fists. He guessed she was angry at herself for being like this in front of her teammates. Inwardly, he was glad that Sasuke hadn’t seen her that way.

Neji came from behind him and put a calming hand on Sakura’s shoulder, and he could feel him glaring at Kakashi and Naruto, a clear way of telling them to go away and leave them alone. Sakura would have enough problems explaining everything tomorrow at Team Practice.

**666**

Naruto was worried for his teammate. He knew she was like a complete stranger, only talking to Neji and Shikamaru, but she was still his teammate, they had to work together and trust each other with their lives. To do that, they had to open up to each other-she didn’t know anything about him or the Teme, but they didn’t know anything about her either.

He sighed, taking out his house key and opening the door to his home and to his mother’s homemade ramen. For once, he did not grin at the smell of his favorite meal, this –of course- worried his mother, who came out of the kitchen wearing her favorite apron.

He knew he couldn’t hide anything from her, so he sat down on one of the couches and his mom followed suit.

“One of my teammates had a panic attack today, and I’m worried for her. She seemed so… _scared_. I just want to help her, but I don’t know _how_. It’s frustrating.” He hadn’t noticed that he was clenching his fists until Kushina took his hands into hers.

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure…we were at the hospital ‘cause  Sasuke broke his arm on our taijutsu spar, and we were leaning on one of the walls in the hallway, and she went like _really_ quiet, and when I turned to ask what was wrong ,she was shaking and _so pale_ , dattebayo! And she was asking me to get her out of the hospital.  So I did, but Kaka-sensei saw us and then we got her to Neji and Shikamaru-you know, since they’re always together and we don’t know where she lives…and then Neji practically told us to go away before he made us!!”

His mother smiled warmly.

“Well Naru-chan, you’ll have to try and be her friend, that’s the only way that she will start opening up to you.”

“But, what if she doesn’t want to be my friend? Or-or Sasuke’s!! What do I do then?”

His mother pinched his cheeks until they were all red and they _hurt_.

“Don’t be silly, you can make anyone be your friend, _dattebane_!”

**666**

She had finally calmed down enough to explain what had happened.

They were at their normal Training Ground, having some dango and tea to calm her nerves –and everyone else’s-.

Neji and Shikamaru weren’t saying anything, they just waited patiently for her to start talking, and she was grateful for that.

After finishing her dango, she spoke up.

“We were at the hospital because Sasuke was dumb enough to break his arm in a taijutsu spar against Naruto. So while a medic-nin worked on him, we decided to wait like good teammates.

I was leaning against a wall, and there was a room in there. And there was a woman screaming and crying because she had had a miscarriage and- and I just, I”

Shikamaru was the first to remember Saya.

I had once told them about her when they asked about my voice, why it sounded so raspy.

“I just- in my mind, I was seeing her. I mean, I knew from the moment I first saw her that she was pregnant, but to actually realize that it was all an experiment, it was horrible. It was just a _fucking baby!_ What the hell did it do to deserve such a fate? And what did _Saya_ have to do with anything? She was too young. And, and when she just couldn’t think straight anymore, they just burnt her. I can still remember the smell of her flesh, her- her _screams_.”

I just couldn’t go on anymore.

It was too much.

I saw other experiments while I was trapped in that place, but Saya had been my first friend. And she was the first to go.

I often wondered why didn’t I go nuts after years of being there and then the war. There was a time when she thought it had something to do with Inner, but now she was starting to wonder if she hadn’t gone mad too.

**666**

At night, Neji was laying on his bed.

It was late, and he couldn’t sleep. He was thinking about Sakura.

She had given so much to everyone, her own _happiness_ , and nobody knew of that. They just went on with their life while she suffered. Tenshi had told them what had she given up.

He knew that memories were powerful things. And he also knew that Sakura hated those memories. To relive them every night for the rest of their life-he couldn’t imagine how much it hurt.   
But he also knew it was her way of showing just how much she loved them.

He had his father back. Naruto had his parents back. Sasuke had his whole family back. Everyone was happy.

Everyone but Sakura.

He could see her in his mind’s eye, in her bed, gazing at her ceiling, afraid of falling asleep because it meant she’d have to see something she would rather forget about.

And he couldn’t help but feel the need to be there with her, hug her and talk to her. Just be there for her like every night in their past life.

Neither of them could sleep that night.


End file.
